body image

Let's talk about being fat, kids! I'm just kidding. Well, sorta. I wanted to write a post about a very touchy subject that has played a very large role in my life over the past few years. My body. I hate it. Actually, no, that's not entirely true, but I'll admit there are parts of my body I am incredibly insecure about. Some people think it's weak to admit this. I, on the other hand, think it's courageous. I think it's important to talk about our insecurities. How else are we going to change the stigma about body image as a social construct? 

I dislike my stomach. It's not flat, which according to society equals acceptable. I have rolls. I just rolled up my shirt to double check as I'm writing this, and I do indeed have belly rolls. Sometimes a bit of my tummy hangs out over my jeans (which is why I have switched to only wearing high-waisted jeans so that problem is eliminated). Does it sometimes cut off my circulation and hurt my stomach? Absolutely! But it keeps my belly looking flat so who cares about pain? 

I hate my arms. I have huge brachialis muscles (below the bicep) which make my arms like twice their size when flexed. I should be proud of my muscles, yet I despise them for weighing my body down at times. Did you know that muscle weighs more than fat? I didn't. 

I have a strange love/hate (but mostly hate) relationship with my thighs. Yes, they have saved my phone from falling in the toilet a number of times, but there's no gap. And we all know everyone must have a thigh gap or you're considered fat right? Wrong (if you haven't noticed by now, wrong is my thing I seem to add in every post without intending to). My thighs are muscular, but I have cellulite. Screw you, cellulite! I don't like you! No one does!

When I open up Instagram on my phone, as I do about forty times a day, I feel like all I see it Victoria Secret model, after model on the beach in a thong bikini showing off her ass, after #bodygoals, after more Victoria Secret models (why do I know all of their names???) I've realized recently how incredibly unhealthy this is for me, and the rest of our generation. We want to feel connected to celebrities, so we follow them religiously on social media. But do you realize how poisonous this can be? If all I see are flat stomachs, big butts and tiny waists, it's viewed as the social norm. And then I look at myself, someone without a flat stomach or a tiny waist and I feel like shit about myself. It's taken me so long to learn to love my body. And clearly, my journey is far from over since I just talked about all the parts of my body I hate. 

I'm not here to tell you to unfollow all the celebrities on social media. I'm not here to tell you to join a bikini body challenge and lose 20 lbs (if you're into that kind of stuff, I commend you!) I'm not telling you to pretend to love yourself. I'm recommending (not forcing, because that would be rude) that you look in the mirror after reading this post and find five things you love about yourself. If five seems too difficult, start with three and work your way up. Here's mine:

I love my organization skills and handwriting.

I love my abs.

I love my long natural eyelashes.
I love my tiny hands.
I love the necklace of freckles around my neck

Now it's your turn.