yoga: the beginning

I may have mentioned that I'm an "aspiring yogi". I'm not really sure if that's entirely accurate, but what I can say is that I have fallen in love with a new form of exercise that aids in relaxation, builds strength, and connects my body, mind and spirit. For the past few weeks, beginning on June 2nd 2017, I joined a yoga studio called Stil Studio. It's about a ten minute drive from my house, in the middle of a popular outdoor mall, hidden in the back of one of the stairwells that leads up to the parking garage. It seemed a tiny bit sketchy...but as soon as I walked into the studio I was hit with the scent of burning incense, and was greeted by a group of smiling staff members. I signed up for their new welcome program: 30 days for $30. You can attend as many classes as you want to for 30 days. I thought to myself, why not? I thought I would maybe go three of four times to see how the classes were taught and if I was even comfortable practicing yoga. Three weeks later, I have gone almost twelve times (don't quote me on that) and have found a new hobby. 

When I first began practicing yoga (like really practicing), I found myself getting lost in my own mind. It was difficult for me at first to silence all of the negative self-critical thoughts that were flying through my head while stretching in cobra pose. The first few classes, there were several moments where I had to simply curl up in child's pose and cry. Luckily, from many years of practice, I'm really good at silent crying so I wasn't causing a scene, but I knew that I wasn't at peace. Should I get up and leave? That requires making noise to roll up your mat, and letting light into the dark studio to open the door a.k.a. drawing more attention to myself. Nooo thank you. So I just stayed there for a long time. At one moment (I should mention that this studio is hands-on, and instructors often come around to guide you through the poses and help stretch you further) the instructor placed his hand on the small of my back. He didn't say anything, and it didn't linger there long, but from that one touch as tears were pouring down my face, I knew I was understood. I'm not sure if I believe in spiritual energy just yet, but his touch sparked something in my body to want to try and continue my practice until the end of the class. 

I've made a goal for myself to attend this yoga studio as much as physically possible. As of right now, I am going at least once every single day. The owners know me by name, and yesterday when I walked into the studio I heard an instructor say, "Tzipi!". It was amazing! When I told my mom this, she responded, "You're part of their family now." After just a few weeks??? That's crazy! I've spent so long trying to find a healthy community for myself where I am supported and challenged and accepted for who I am. I am not a professional yoga instructor who does headstands on the daily (yet) but I have been able to find a sense of relaxation during each day. I've been doing mindfulness meditation (that's for a whole other post), vinyasa flow classes, as well as fluid and core related practices. Am I slowly turning into a "yogi"? I did just buy some incense from the studio so maybe that's a hint.

I also thought this post was important to write today since it is International Yoga Day! This is my first time celebrating. Good thing I've already attended a yoga class this morning. Phew.